It’s the most wonderful time of the year…for watching your hard-earned cash circle the drain. Shopping for holiday festivities is fun, but the financial hit you take to make it happen can be straight-up painful. Prepare yourself for an inevitable spiral through the emotional roller coaster of budgeting for the season–we’re all in this eggnog-laced hellscape together!
1. A vague, swirling mass of fear.
You know it’s nearly impossible for your wallet to make it to January unscathed, and in the quiet calm before the storm, the holidays just look like a fuzzy blob of financial misery.
2. Extreme false confidence.
As you sit down to do a little number crunching before buying gifts, you immediately feel at ease. Look at you, mapping out a budget like an adult instead of just throwing money into a black hole!
3. Shock and horror.
The facts on that cold, hard bank statement are much worse than you thought. How are you going to make the measly amount of cash in front of you last for all the presents, bottles of wine, and party dresses you have to buy!?
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4. Panic, utter panic.
You scramble to find something to cut out of your spending routine to avoid crisis mode. Maybe it’s finally time to ditch the sad $12 lunch salads you keep splurging on.
5. Quiet sadness.
You simply have too many gifts to buy, so you will live a spartan life of ramen and SpaghettiOs until your finances recover. It’s a bummer, but hey, at least then you can have a shiny new sequined dress for the office Christmas party!
6. Envy.
Your sister got such fancy gifts for everyone! How did she afford that? Now she looks like the classy one in the family and you look like a cheapskate. It’s all so unfair.
7. Rationalization.
What’s the worst that could happen if you buy that overpriced hot chocolate while holiday shopping? And what’s the big deal about that $40 gingerbread candle? This season only comes once a year so you have to enjoy it, right? Screw it, it’s spendin’ time.
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8. Grim resignation.
You’ve accepted your fate now. You barely even bother to cycle through the rationalizing-then-regretting process anymore. When your friends suggest ordering an extra bottle for the table while out because it’s a “special holiday dinner,” you don’t even try to convince yourself to resist. The first few months of 2016 are going to be broke and brutal.
9. The moment of truth.
Somewhere in the flurry of your spending tizzy, you took a (denial-fueled) break from your Responsible Adult Habit of keeping regular tabs on the contents of your bank account. When January 2 rolls around, you hold your breath and grip the table top while you check your account balance for the first time in weeks. The damage isn’t pretty.
10. Frantic New Year’s resolutions.
Suddenly you’re regretting all those festive overpriced coffee beverages you put on your credit card. You start the year off right with a brand new budget, letting the carnage and gluttony of December fade far, far into the background. It’s gonna be okay.
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